Here we go . . .

Hey everyone! I am so excited about starting this. I have felt so many emotions during this pandemic, with its constant transitions and opportunities for us to adapt. I did not expect it to be a time where I was able to discover something so deep and true about myself. Read on if you want to know what lead me to decide to pursue being a birth doula.

If you know me, you will know that I am a pretty slow and deliberate decision maker. I am on the extreme side of indecisive. I tend to really weigh every possibility before doing something, especially something that has the potential to change the course of my life. Right after my second daughter was born, I made the decision (this one took so long for me to process and decide) to leave my engineering job of 9 years. I had already been struggling with the ethics of working there though I really actually enjoyed the people I worked with and the work itself, the 1-1.5 hour commute each way plus a 9 hour work day was definitely hard for my husband, myself, and my daughter. But eventually with the help of my therapist and close friends, I was able to make the decision to stop working there. Maybe the decision was partly made for me because my newborn daughter didn’t sleep and I could not imagine going back to work in the state I was in.

That was over 6 years ago, and since then I dabbled in a few things. It’s not like my life wasn’t full with the kids and other volunteer opportunities, but professionally, I kept joking that I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up. I worked part time in data science, I have been the PTA president at my kids elementary school for 5 years, I volunteered some time with our church, and worked a little on creating art, which I also really enjoy.

A little over a year ago, my niece was born. My sister allowed me to be with her for her birth and it was one of the most beautiful experiences.

The pandemic started and I was immediately overwhelmed with the responsibilities that come with being around your children ALL THE TIME, but within a couple of months was able to create coping strategies that worked for me which included exercise and most importantly connection with close friends. It’s weird to say this now because I’m often the one who doesn’t feel like she’s able to do things in the right way, and I didn’t force this, but somehow the time allowed me to really figure out what was most important to me. I realized that the times I felt most fulfilled was when I was able to walk with friends through difficulties.

I am on a few mom groups on social media and I realized that every time a pregnant woman asked for advice, I immediately went to “hire a doula!”. I was also kind of discouraged because many women would answer back that they would love to hire one but didn’t feel they had enough money to.

I realized how important my doula was to me in my birth experience and wondered if it was work I could do. As soon as I asked myself that question, I got so excited. I felt this motivating and positive energy well up inside of me and I immediately went to my close friends and said “I am thinking of becoming a birth doula”. So many of my close friends since then have been so affirming of this choice of vocation for me. When I tell someone new about it, they have often responded, “you would be SO good at that!”

I attended the birth doula training with Binibirth in mid-September and it was informative, inspiring, and empowering. In addition to great informational content about being a supporter during labor, Ana Paula Markel (the wonderful trainer and doula for many years) also gave great insightful emotional advice. Ana Paula said something that really resonated with me during the training. She said “you all have been doulas your whole life and didn’t know it.” And that is how I feel.

I now know that my unique combination of emotional sensitivity, instinctual ability to care for others, technical know-how and attention to detail, coupled with a deep passion for this work makes me perfect to be a birth doula.

I am unsure of what the future will bring but I am actually feeling excited for it.